Five for Friday

WOOP WOOP – Even mummies get reward stickers too! I got my silver 7 sticker this week!

Great, I hear you say? Well, maybe not so? You see it has taken me over 6 months just to lose that half a stone! And this is not my first time of trying. Just call me Yo-Yo.

DeJaVu
As you may have gathered I ‘was’ a member of one of the UKs largest slimming groups. But I have been here before. A couple of years ago I lost 25lbs, as in almost 2 stone, not £25! Unfortunately after a breakup; a breakdown (there goes that yo-yo again); more than a few bottles of plonk, and a fair amount of comfort eating, I was back to square one.

All gone pear-shaped
Now, I do not mind being a ‘curvy’ girl. I do not mind being a size 16. The problem is my knees do! I was diagnosed with Arthiritis late last year, and my first piece of advice was to lose some weight, hence my return to the weekly weigh-ins.

On a lighter note (I wish!) Twomumsy brings you:

FIVE WEIGHT RELATED CLICHES or MYTHS

1 Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels
Well, seeing as I have never knowingly known how good ‘skinny’ can feel, I can honestly say that I don’t know what I am missing? Kate Moss, on the other hand is missing out on pure orgasmic pleasure of the oral variety. She needs to get her lips around a good old cadbury’s flake bar, in my opinion. Go on Kate, you know you want it!

2 Sex is better than chocolate
I think I have forgotten what sex is like? Chocolate on the other hand . . . I can have any time, any place, anywhere; it is still satisfying when it has gone all soft and warm, and I can make it last all night!!

3 A moment on the lips – a lifetime on the hips
Okay, okay, I am not disputing that there is a direct correlation between what I have put in my mouth over the years (oo eer missus) and the circumference of my hips. I was bottom heavy to start off with, childbearing hips run in the family, even when I was a child! I have heard on the some grapevine or other, that real men like real women. Women with something to grab hold of. Love me, love my love handles!

© Dreamstime

4 If no-one sees you eating it – it doesn’t count
What, that’s not true? Oh SUGAR, there goes my next reward sticker. I’ll be in detention next week. Anyway, who am I kidding? Who is likely to see me eating, anything, EVER? That’s not to say I don’t eat, MUCH! It is more a reflection on my sorry excuse for a social life. Add to that the fact that the kids are usually either in school, or in bed. The dog is my only witness.

5 Cider is counted as one of your five-a-day
Okay, okay, I don’t even like cider. Made you smile though – didn’t it? I hope so?! Anyway, I hope you wish me luck with my weight-loss journey. Now I am just off to enjoy a nice big bunch of Beaujolais. 😉